question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
