Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
