Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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