your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
