I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
