I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
