I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think my moral compass just broke
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
