either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Let's get the cat blown out
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
