My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
