This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
