At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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