P.S. I can't hear my feet
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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