looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
