MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
