Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
