he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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