Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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