I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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