She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
