Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
