Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
