I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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