oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
