I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
