Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
