TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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