Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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