Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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