I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All the doctor said was why
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
