we made out on top of his cat.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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