Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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