Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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