If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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