she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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