i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
