she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
