i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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