nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
