I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
