Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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