i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
