she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Less talking, more tequila
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize