do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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