winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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