The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
