Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
organizing the empties. That sober.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
