I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
