There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think a kid would responsible me up
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
