Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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