i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
