It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize