at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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