it was like his penis was on wheels.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
