I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
