Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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