i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
