: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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