Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't deserve a penis
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
