At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just found puke in my bra..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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